If Harry and Meghan didn’t chat with Oprah three years ago, would we care where Kate is?

Keeping tabs on the comings and goings of the British Royals isn’t high on the list of popular American pastimes. What we are is a nation of true crime hounds addicted to missing white woman anxiety, especially if the gone girl is wealthy and slightly famous. If she’s also connected to a messy family, go ahead and sign us up for the full subscription.

All of that still only partly explains why Kate Middleton’s months-long absence from public view has captivated America’s social media conspiracists, photo manipulation gumshoes and all purpose rubberneckers. It’s an odd preoccupation until you remember that we’re a nation who went from zero to #FreeBritney in the running time of a documentary. Kate may be Catherine, Princess of Wales, but she’s also a mother and wife devoted to whatever royals do when they’re not attending ribbon cutting ceremonies.

Hence, everyone has something to say about that innocuous looking snapshot that circulated on March 10, Mother’s Day in Britain. It was the first official photo released by Kensington Palace since the Princess of Wales underwent abdominal surgery in January

The last time Kate was officially seen in public was Christmas 2023, making the picture newsworthy, I guess. It shows Kate surrounded by her adorable iss-yew Princes George and Louis and Princess Charlotte, all “nothing to see here!” smiles.

Thank you for your kind wishes and continued support over the last two months.

Wishing everyone a Happy Mother’s Day. C

📸 The Prince of Wales, 2024

Immediately sleuths uncovered inconsistencies in the image – a patch of hair hanging unnaturally, a partly erased sweater cuff, weirdly situated floor tiles. By Sunday afternoon AP had circulated a kill notification: “At closer inspection, it appears that the source manipulated has manipulated the image,” it explained. Reuters and Agence France-Presse followed suit.

By Monday people were treating the thing like the Zapruder film. A TikTok user shared a complex breakdown matching the cut of the turtleneck Kate’s wearing to older fashion blog posts. Others speculate a years-old cover shot from British V

Regardless, if the Sussexes hadn’t sat down with Oprah Winfrey three years ago almost to the day – yes, darlings, it’s the third anniversary of the “what?!” heard ’round the world! – markedly fewer of us would care as much as so many appear to.

The Oprah interview was the first stateside explainer of how the business of telling stories about the Windsors, a notoriously private and tight-lipped family, outweighs protecting individual family members’ image and reputations.

The Sussexes have since settled into the United States entertainment industry complex, producing podcasts, running their charities, making goodwill visits to victims of violence and generally living their best lives. You either care about them or don’t; you may be happy for them insofar as one has good wishes for decent people.

How they’re living is less important than the education they provided to American audiences about The Firm, the Windsors’ corporate apparatus that works to maintain their relevance by feeding toxic narratives to the press.

This wasn’t a revelation to British audiences, but the average U.S. viewer either didn’t know such apparatus existed or wasn’t aware of the extent to which it rules the family’s lives.

Between that, “Harry & Meghan” on Netflix and the Diana Spencer seasons on “The Crown” we have a better grasp of the way the royals’ PR arm works to elevate some family members over others.
Add that to the long-established chapters of Diana’s story in which she spilled the tea about her loveless marriage and Charles’ longstanding infatuation with Camilla and we’re already conditioned to suspect those royal smiles aren’t merely false but hiding something.

Diana’s death by paparazzi chase redirected our anger toward the predatory media. Even then, the royal PR team crafted its spin as Harry explained in detail in “Harry & Meghan” and his various tours for his tell-all “Spare.”